A Diary of My Twisted Love Story
by Mitsukai Kanashimi
Summary: I'm Arme... I got my first kiss stolen when I was five years old... I let my best friend have a relationship with my first and only love... And I caught them in the middle of their happy hour... Do you still think I have a reason to smile?


The first time I met Lass was when I was a kid – about 5 years old, to be exact. We bumped into each other during a disorienting game of tag. I remembered him falling on top of me with our lips mashed together as if the accident was something that happened intentionally. Our playmates gathered around the both of us and began laughing like crazy. I was stupefied, of course... Imagine getting your first kiss stolen at an age where you don't even know what the word "kissing" is all about.

I remembered shoving him away like a garbage bag that had mounted itself on my chest. Then I dusted my clothes off, lifting my head up into the air as if nothing had happened while he stared at me, askance. At that time, I had my violet hair long and done up into a pair of braids. Unfortunately, the braids had caught up a few twigs when we both fell... so it was tangled and messy. Ignoring my own hair, I decided to help him up since he was still dumbfounded (perhaps because he had just kissed a girl he barely even knew). I stretched out my hand, wordlessly, and he took it gratifyingly. I yanked him up, noticing how light he was, and watched as he brushed his palms against his shirt. I noticed that he had blue eyes.

_Piercing blue eyes..._

Sincerely speaking, after the kiss, he became my first crush. Yeah, I know. It's too soon for a 5-year-old to get a crush. But who cares? Love works in mysterious ways.

It was evening when my mom pulled me away from my friends so that we could both go home. When we were outside the playground, Elesis (another playmate) used her big mouth to shout out what had happened earlier. My mom pulled me back into the playground and ordered me to point out the boy who "tortured" me. I couldn't move since I didn't want my mom to give him a mouthful of scolding... but things had to be done... When I found him, he was seated all alone on a swing.

My mom followed my stare and went to him immediately. She scolded him while he sat there expressionlessly. Then he looked at me and smiled at me as if my mom wasn't being mean to him. When mom was done, she grabbed my hand and started a stroll back home. I stared back at him and mouthed a goodbye to him because he seemed so lonely... He gave me one last smile before moving his swing back and forth. After that, I thought I'd never see him again.

But I did.

Autumn leaves were falling down the streets and cleaners were doing a good job sweeping them away that particular day. News about a transferee or two spread through the school like a wildfire. The rumors stated that he or she would be a Middle school student on his or her third year... So it wouldn't come as a surprise if he or she would be sent to the same class as mine. Even so, I got the shock of my life when I saw _him_ walk into the classroom. I knew it was him because of his trademark silver hair and blue eyes. He was clad in the same black uniform the guys usually wear, but to me, he looked ten thousand times better than the rest...

Of course, a guy as good-looking as him wouldn't avoid getting fan girls. And when recess struck, they came in all shapes and sizes, offering him food like he was a hungry peasant on the verge of death. I watched him from the back of the cafeteria, wondering what he'd do next.

"You like him, don't you?" My best friend, Lire, asked. She was smiling at me as if she had won the lottery. I nodded my head.

"Well... try, confessing~!" My other best friend, Amy, told me.

I chuckled and smiled at the both of them, knocking my head gently before replying, "I can't. I'm a klutz when it comes to those situations, remember?"

Amy leaned back into her chair and replied, "Okay... If you say so..."

I gave both my friends a cheery grin before diverting my attention to Lass once more. He looked so pitiful with the crowd of fan girls gathering around him.

_Just turn around... and you'll find me here..._ My thoughts whispered to no one in particular. Oh who am I kidding? Even at that moment, I wanted him to notice me. My cheeks flared as I my thoughts got deeper and darker. I was forced to shake my head. Probably, there's a way I, Arme, will fall for this guy _all over again._

* * *

><p>School continued to take its toll on me – exams stressed me out, quizzes gave me headaches and projects made me sick. I managed to survive through it all with straight A's (because I'm smart, and I'm proud of it!). By the end of the month, I had befriended everyone in the room, including <em>him<em>. Although for some reason, I kept forgetting his name...

"It's Lass," He'd always remind me. He even told me that in some countries, it is used as a referral for "girls". I wondered why he was so straight-forward in telling me that. But I didn't want to get false hopes of him actually coming to like me for who I am since the very idea was way too naive... Oh wait... _I am_ naive...

"I like someone," he told me, one afternoon in December. Unfortunately, that person wasn't me. I already knew who she was because he asked me to hand a teddy bear to her on a certain day in September. I admit - she was very beautiful... Long, golden hair... sparkling emerald eyes... On the contrary, she was my best friend. Yeah, I'm talking about Lire.

I felt both sad and happy for him. For one thing, he liked her so much, but he couldn't seem to find a way to express his feelings for her. For another, he finally started to bring out most of his emotions. He wasn't as lifeless as he was before. I still felt lucky since I was the only one who witnessed him laugh for the first time while he was talking about the one he loved.

I can't help but get a wee bit jealous though... After all, I saw him first...

* * *

><p>It was New Year's Eve and my friends had set up a meeting at the shrine before the clock struck twelve. At about seven, I was sent by Ronan and Elesis to check up on Lire and Lass. They both knew that Lass had introduced Lire to his family, and the girl was spending the evening at her boyfriend's house. That very thought pained me to the core... But what can I do? If you really love a person, you would let them go, they say... If you don't, you'd end up hurting yourself even more... It's like saying I should hate Lass... so there won't be a reason to give him away just like that...<p>

_After all, I saw him first..._

Or maybe I didn't... Maybe it was a different boy who looked exactly like Lass and now... Damn it! Why did it have to be him in the first place? He stole my first kiss... Became my first love... Every precious moment I had been saving up... They're all gone because of him. Should I have tried harder? Great. Now I'm being emotional. Let's just get this over with before I get all teary-eyed.

I walked up to the front porch of Lass' house. Funny because there someone was certainly in the house but the street lights weren't on at this hour. Even the interior of the house was dark. The gate was open, which was a sure sign that visitors were welcome or someone had left earlier. Anyway, I walked down the stony pathway, expecting nothing more than a greeting from the two "lovebirds". I knocked on the door and waited, checking my watch briefly to see if it was still early enough to push those two out of the house. There were a lot of muffled noises from the inside, but I simply ignored them. 45 seconds passed and there was still no answer. What could those two be doing?

I knocked on the door again to quell my heart from beating rapidly due to the dark thoughts that had invaded my head. When the door opened, however, I realized how accurate all my thoughts were. Lass was staring down at me, wide-eyed and shirtless. A towel covered his lower body. I could also see Lire lying on the couch with the same look on her face. She was holding a coat to cover her whole humanity.

"You two were having sex?" I yelled straight into his face.

Lass looked down with his cheeks flushed.

_God... This is unbelievable, _I thought, running my hand through my hair out of confusion? Anger..? I didn't know. It was most inevitably a mixture of both.

I regained composure within a matter of seconds. "I'll tell Elesis and the others that you two were busy. Don't worry. They're minds are innocent enough not to process what you two were actually doing," I told Lass. I was assuming he'd glare at me or give me another one of those emotionless stares, but when I looked up at him, he was casting his gaze away as if he was guilty of something. What would he be guilty about? It's not like he did Lire just for show...

Wait... I just realized I was crying... Talk about perfect timing.

"I'll be going now. I can't be late," I said before walking away.

"Wait, Arme..." Lass mumbled, grabbing my hand. "I... We're sorry..."

_Sorry for what? _

"I need to go now," I told him, prying my hand away from his hold. "If there's one thing I don't want to have, it's a friend who'd do things they might regret later on." I turned around and gave the idiots a good glare. "You two are despicable."

* * *

><p>Everything was blank after that. I remembered heading back home instead of informing Elesis and the rest that Lass and Lire won't be coming along with them. Maybe they'll lose their patience and head to the shrine without the two morons. Is it right to call them morons anyway? No... But they still didn't do the right thing. To think that I had friends like them is sickening.<p>

_They're still your friends..._

Should I go back and apologize? No... Maybe I should just save myself from humiliation and head out of town for a while. School won't start until next tomorrow so I still have time... Maybe I'd find a better place to study while I'm at it. Sure... that's a better idea. I wouldn't want to head back to the same old campus and be known as the girl who interrupted her "best friends' pleasure time".

_Looks like I'll be saying goodbye to Tokyo…_

* * *

><p>I left for Saitama early in the morning. I told my mom that she'd inform my friends that I'm leaving. I warned her not to feed the details of my departure to the teachers since everyone in the whole school would be informed and they'd all end up getting curious. Something at the back of my mind says that if the whole school is notified of my absence, it would lead to a great consequence...<p>

It was afternoon when the train pulled up in front of the station in Hannou. Feeling a bit inquisitive, I jumped out of the train as fast as I can and began watching for two familiar faces. The enormous crowd that had piled up the area prevented me from doing so because of my short stature. Someone even pushed me back in hopes of getting out of the place on time.

Sieghart was the one who barged into my little moment of panic. He and his wife, Mari, dragged me out of the station in the nick of time. Mari had beautiful cerulean hair... and her eyes were so unique. One was blue and the other was red. Sieghart told me it was a disease known as heterochromia. I asked whether it was something that affected her eyesight considering that she was wearing glasses, but Sieghart simply laughed.

* * *

><p>Sieghart and Mari had helped me get into a school here in Saitama. Unlike the one back in Tokyo, this was much quieter. I liked it better here. Although I missed having paper ball fights with Ryan and having a ball pen spinning contest with Ronan. I also missed competing with Elesis about who draws a better Rune. I miss talking with Lire and Amy at the lunch table during recess... I miss everything... But I don't want to go back there... Not after the incident...<p>

When I got back home from another tiresome day at school, I found Elesis and Ronan, sitting on the couch like a pair of homeless morons. I can't say I was shocked though... I missed them so much that I ended up pouncing on them and hugging them like a long lost puppy. Amy and Jin were in Saitama too... but they decided to look around.

Elesis was the first one to speak, "Why did you leave?"

"Personal reasons," I replied, smiling at her. "Maybe I got tired of life in Tokyo..."

Elesis sighed, "Do you realize what sort of commotion you started in the whole school the day you left? The principal wanted to nominate you as a volunteer for a math competition but you were already gone. Even the English teacher can't find a better person who could read English as flawlessly as you can. And don't let me get started about Lass—"

"What about Lass?" I asked.

"He searched everywhere for you. He even questioned your mom in an attempt to find you but she refused to give him even the slightest of details about your location, which is funny because she's the one we looked up to about your whereabouts. He's been dying to apologize to you... although I can't really say what he's so sorry about. He refuses to tell anyone. Anyway, when we get back to Tokyo, we're going to save his apologetic ass and send him here so he could talk to you up front."

"I don't want to talk to him," I said, standing up. Hah. With my short stature, I don't thing standing up would do me any good.

Elesis simply laughed. "Leaving your fears and problems behind won't make you as invincible as a giant, Arme."

"That's pretty witty, coming from you El," I commented, sitting back down. "But I don't want to see Lass."

"Really?" Elesis stood up and looked at me in the eyes. "Don't lie to me, Arme..."

* * *

><p>The days flew by pretty quickly and soon enough, weekend came. Saturday was usually the day I helped Mari with the laundry. After that, we'd proceed to doing the rest of the chores, like sweeping, changing the bed sheets, and more sweeping. When we're done with everything, we'd take a train to Harajuku just to spoil ourselves before heading home.<p>

It was late afternoon when we got back. The house was noisy from the inside, so Mari and I guessed that Sieghart had brought some of his friends for a brief visit. I took the lead and flung the door open, shouting a big, "We're home!" into the air. When I looked down on the ground, Sieghart was wrestling with someone... And that someone had silver hair.

"On second thought, I think I forgot to buy something back in town. I'll see you guys later," I said, turning around. A hand stopped me from taking a step forward.

"I'll leave you two here to talk things out," Mari told me in a monotone before heading into the house and locking the door.

* * *

><p>Lass had caught my hand in a death grip. "What you saw the other day... It—"<p>

"It's none of my business," I told him, ignoring the heavy urge to face him so that I could take a good look at him.

"It's something I've come to regret," Lass said with a sigh. "Lire wanted to keep it a secret because she knew what your reaction would be like and then you ended up finding out. I guess things went out of hand so she broke up with me. She told me to look for you to at least tell you that we're both sorry."

"Is that all?" I asked.

"No. She also wanted to ask if you got jealous about the whole ordeal..."

"I didn't get jealous. I just got a little disappointed... To think the both of you would both go that far..." I sighed. "Look, Lass. I'm not the type who accepts all flaws. I want everything perfect. I want everything to go my way. Perhaps that's the bad side of me. I'm just too selfish... "

Lass stayed silent.

"I know I'm getting a bit off-topic. A few months ago, I wanted to be the center of your attention. Maybe that request was too big for somewhat as short as I am so it ended up backfiring," I looked at the sky to stop the tears from coming. Why the hell am I getting all-emotional over this sort of thing? Oh well... mentally interrogating myself won't hold back the tears... They began pouring down like waterfalls... So annoying...

"Before I send you away, I want to ask you one last thing. Back when you were 5 years old... Do you remember a playground?" I asked, looking at him through my tears. "...And a girl you used to play tag with?"

"No," was his reply.

"Looks like I was wrong..." I told him, trying to pry away from his hold.

"But I do remember my first kiss," he suddenly said, tightening his hold on my wrist. "She was exactly like you... Short but prideful..."

I laughed. "I'm tired of your jokes Lass. I don't want to hear anything from you ever again."

"Quit lying to yourself," he told me, yanking me backwards so that he could hug me from behind. "Lire broke up with me after Elesis told her your secret…_ Lire_ told me that you used to like me…"

"So you're planning on using me as a substitute?" I asked him while doing a mental debate on whether or not to untwine the arms that had wrapped themselves around my waist. "That's too low of you Lass. I'd never expect you to—"

"Who said anything about me using you as a substitute in the first place?" Lass interjected. "Isn't it obvious that I'm trying to make my move right now? Or are your tears blinding you to an extent that you can't see a thing?" He began wiping the corners of my eyes.

_Usotsuki..._

"I hate you..."

* * *

><p>Elesis' 16th birthday came in a rush and I was forced to take a train back to Tokyo with Sieghart and Mari. She ordered me to buy a chocolate cake in exchange for her worries the day I left. I simply obeyed her and had it wrapped up in a red box (her favorite color).<p>

All of her friends were invited, including Lass and three new students I didn't even know. After a few introductions, I grew accustomed to calling them Zero, Dio and Ley. Lire was seated on a couch and beside her was Ryan, who was chattering away like a bored bug. I sat next to her since I've always wanted to talk to her for weeks. I gave her a smile for a start, and she responded with a rather gloomy one.

"Is there something wrong, Lire?" I asked, holding her hand.

"Lass told me you didn't accept our apology," she replied, looking down.

"Oh… Sorry about that. If it was you, I wouldn't deny it. You're my best friend," I told her in an attempt to cheer her up. "I guess I lost my temper when I saw him… It would have been better if you came instead."

"True," Lire replied, sitting up so that she could look at me. "But that's the thing, Arme._ I_ sent him all the way to Saitama so that he'd apologize for the sake of our friendship. He took his time and effort just to see you and you turned him down. That's not the Arme I know."

"Lire… I'm sorry," I said, sinking into the chair.

"I guess we're equal," Lire retorted, leaning back. "I'm really sorry about what happened back then… But I can't change the past… What matters now is that you'd forgive me and Lass for everything."

"I've forgiven you a long time ago," I told Lire. "I just can't forgive Lass… Remembering what he did to you makes me sick. And in the end, he just left you behind. That idiot deserves a good beating."

"Arme, I broke up with him. Didn't he tell you that?" Lire stated as calmly as possible. "Listen. The more you try to 'hate' him, the more likely you're going to sever him and your feelings for him. He looks as if he doesn't give a crap about the world, but if you watch closely, you'll realize that he actually cares. He has a pretty good way of hiding his emotions. That's why when he shows them, he usually ends up doing something stupid… "

"Lire… To do something like that with him, you must have loved him so much," I stated in a hush.

Lire bit her lip. "True..."

* * *

><p>Elesis took us to Aoyama Cemetery that evening. We were kinda expecting her to visit a dead relative but she told us that she would be holding a Test of Courage there. The place was eerie and spooky, especially at this time of the night. She told us we'd be walking around the cemetery for an hour and a half. The first person to scream would treat her with ice cream, and the one who runs out of the place would have to cook her meals for the next few days. It was as if she was hiring a manservant.<p>

The redhead inhaled a mouthful of air before saying, "I'm gonna divide you into groups of three. Lire, Ryan and Dio, you guys would be group one. Group two would be composed of Amy, Jin and Siegfried—"

"It's Sieghart," the raven-haired man corrected.

"Yeah, whatever. Group three would be composed of Arme, Ronan and Lass. Since Ley left earlier, Mari, Zero and I will make up group four. Is that okay with you guys?" Elesis asked, observing everyone. Subsequently gaining no response, she raised her hand to signal the start of the test. This was going to be long night…

Ronan and Lass walked ahead of me as I entertained myself by counting the dead… In fact, I was so absorbed with the number of tombstones that I hadn't noticed the path I was taking. When I stopped counting (150 tombs in total), I realized I was standing alone, in the middle of the largest cemetery in Tokyo… unguarded.

_Oh god…_

"What am I going to do?" I asked myself, half-dazed. _Should I scream? But that would only attract evil spirits… Maybe I should chant to ward them away… __namumyouhourengekyou__, __namumyouhourengekyou__. Come on, Arme… The Sutra won't do you any good right now… Stay strong… Stay strong… Nothing's gonna hurt you… Humans are dominant beings in this world… Even the supernatural can't harm them… Stay strong… _

I would have stayed in that spot, unmoving, if not for the strange warmth that had wrapped itself from behind me.

"If you're scared, you should close your eyes," a familiar voice said, followed by a chuckle. "It's a common tip, but it works…"

_Lass?_

"Where's Ronan?" I asked, turning around and pushing at his chest to pry myself of his hold, _again. _For some reason, he has adapted this bad habit of hugging me whenever he has the chance. I can't say I never liked embracing him though. He's like a life-size teddy bear, and picturing myself in his arms made me feel all fuzzy inside… It's as if I'm floating on a cloud and he's there with me.

"Ronan went off to find Elesis and the rest," He told me, pulling me closer. "He noticed you were lost and told me to look for you since I'm the fast runner. It didn't take long before I saw you standing here…"

"You're irritating," I said.

"You're worse."

I opened my mouth to reply but a voice stopped me from doing so.

"Arme! Lass! You two better make us stop worrying and come out now!" Elesis shouted from the distance. How rude… Shouting in a place where the dead sleep… A spirit might wake up and possess her if she's not careful.

I could hear Lire telling her to pipe down. Even so, the redhead continued yelling, "Our legs are getting numb here! Come out; come out, wherever you are!"

"We'd better go to them now. Who knows what they'll think if they see us like this?" I said, prying Lass' hands apart so that I could move freely.

Elesis and the rest found me and Lass on cue so we didn't have to bother looking for them at all. We didn't say anything to each other after that.

* * *

><p>Months passed and before I knew it, it was September again. Lire and Ryan finally got together and are now in a stable relationship. Lire, being a loyal person, kept no secret from her boyfriend and let everything from her past relationship with Lass off her chest. Lire told me that Ryan had accepted the fact that she had given her virginity to someone else… Although I never thought she'd be able to reveal something that awkward… especially to her new boyfriend.<p>

Just last week, someone has been leaving me a bouquet of purple roses by the doorstep. It was only two days ago when he began to leave notes of apology along with the bunch. _Lass…_

I would have thrown them out the window if I didn't have feelings for him, but each time I read and re-read those notes, my love for him seems to grow… I knew it might be a bad thing… But Elesis was right… If I don't make the right decisions, I might lose him…

Looks like I'm heading back to Tokyo this weekend…

* * *

><p>Elesis gave me a lead on where Amy was living and how to get there. Since it was not too far from my original home, I chose to walk. I met up with a few friends, and even did some explaining to them while I was at it. Amy and I crossed roads somewhere on the pavement. Truth be told, I only wanted to chat with her before heading to Lass' home, but since we already did most of the talking on the road, she decided to accompany me all the way to his house. She left me only when we reached the front porch…<p>

_Here I go… _I thought.

The gate was open again but this time, I didn't enter the house like I did before. I just waited… Like Amy advised me to…

I was about to grow tired of waiting when I felt someone lay a hand on my shoulder. "Arme?"

I gasped, turning around to meet sapphire eyes.

"Lass!" I started with a jolt before pointing my thumb towards his house. "I thought you were—"

"Ronan called. He said that Elesis was choking on an olive again," he explained. "What are you doing here?"

I sighed. "Uhm… I just wanted to ask you if you were the—"

"…If I'm the one who sent the roses and the notes?" Lass completed, looking at me intently. "Yes… I am... I've been watching you too and I was kinda surprised you didn't throw them away."

"Trust me… I'm a lot more surprised than you are…" I told him, looking down to avoid his stare. "I mean… I wanted to throw them away considering that I didn't even know who the sender was but since they gave off a familiar aura, what with the apologies and such; I figured it was you… But don't get me wrong, I would have burnt them down if Mari wasn't so fond of roses…"

Lass frowned.

"I'm joking," I said with a half-hearted laugh. "Sorry."

"For what?" Lass asked, looking away.

"For lying to you all this time," I told him, standing on my toes to give him a small kiss on the cheek. "I'm leaving again… My mom wants me to study at Osaka University a few years from now. I would have to start living there so that I could adjust early… You know they have a different dialect in Osaka…"

Lass' hand rose to feel his cheek and I couldn't help but feel as if I had accomplished something.

"I'm leaving immediately after the end of the school year… Looks like I'm going to live farther away from you," I said.

"Then I'll follow you there," he said. "We'll adjust together… Study together like we used to… "

I smiled. "Is it really okay with you? I mean… living away from your family can be a little annoying…"

"That's nothing… As long as I'm with you, then I'll get over it quickly…"

"You would?"

"You still think I'm lying?" he stated with a chuckle. "You naughty little girl…"

That evening, we shared our first kiss as a couple… It was short and shy… but that's how first kisses usually are, right?

* * *

><p>Phew! It's finally finished… The one-shot that'll make you go "Huh?" "$%^%! Is that even logical?" "Oh come on! This is utter junk! Throw it away! KILL! KILL!" "Damn it! I can't understand a thing!" "WRONG GRAMMAR DUDE! WRONG GRAMMAAAAAAWWWRRRR!"<p>

My cousin read this and went like, "You suck… You should've made Arme and Lass do it like they do on Animal Planet…"

O.O

BTW _namumyouhourengekyou_ means glory to the sutra! Grr… All that research gave me headache! Yup folks! I'm not Haruna-chan to know so much about Japan. It's all in the internet~! .

.Rialey.

P.S:Many thankies to Light Heaven and her fic for inspiring me!


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